Hubby: Do you know what song is in my head?

Me: No.

Hubby: "REM's 'It's the End of the World as We Know It'."

I laugh.

Continue Reading "The 11th Hour"

Husband comes home.

Him: "I really like that pastry shop. It was nice because they have Chinese as well English descriptions under every treat. So, at least you know what you are buying!"

Me: "Really? that is great! What did you bring? I am dying for some sweets."

Him: "I got you some glazed donuts and I got myself this"

He holds up a package.

Me: "Hummm. What is that?"

Him: "I don't know. The English description said 'UFO'"

Oy, these stores!

They try to cater to dumb foreigners like us but they are still not helpful even when they try!

I saw this ad in downtown Dalian and loved it. I thought it was quiet funny. I love the way the baby is eying the football.

It was also a bit strange that this ad featuring American football was in China where hardly anyone plays the game!

I have no idea what the ad is for.

I thought maybe it is for some super baby food.

Continue Reading "Football Baby"

I am sitting by the floor to ceiling window in our living room, reading a book.

I catch a movement in my peripheral vision.

I look up and I see legs dangling outside my window.

I think Huh?!

I grab the camera.

Continue Reading "A Man at the Window"

We saw this person (pictured below) at the beach. I have no idea if it is a man or a woman.

I don't know why he is wearing a mask at a public beach in a broad day light. And the giant black gloves!

I don't even have theories.

I would like for y'all to take a crack at it though.

What do you think?

Is it a man or a woman?

Why the mask?

The gloves?

(To see all the pictures, click on More)

Continue Reading "Mystery at the Beach"

The other day, when I was at the beach I saw a white boat with a red cross (pictured below) far out in the water.

At first, I assumed it was a floating first aid station in case someone got hurt. They also use the cross symbol on hospitals here; so it was only logical.

I couldn't imagine any other explanation since it couldn't possibly be a floating church. Churches are not that common here. Besides, if it were one, unless they plan to proselyte the fish, the location wouldn't make sense.

So, I decided it was a first aid station.

Logic was winning thus far.

Then, I was stumped on how anyone will get to the station to get treated. The boat was way the hell out in deep waters.

I looked around but I didn't see any uniformed life guards and speed boats with little red crosses to promptly take the injured to the white boat with the red cross.

I was back at square one.

What IS this boat?

Almost every outing in China can be a fun intellectual exercise.

I can feel my brain expanding on the daily basis!

Can you imagine?

Every time we board a taxi and we say the name of our apartment in Chinese, we are asking him to take us to a Northern European Holiday.

I wonder which country they were thinking of when they named the complex.

Denmark? Sweden? Finland?

And why!?

This picture of a knickknack stand was taken on a busy market street in Yangshuo.

Your reaction?

Me: Hey, stop the car! That is the biggest one I have so far seen in this area.

Paul: I wonder what kind it is!

We get out of the car to inspect the tree. We admire it as we get closer. Then, Paul touches it and makes a startling discovery.

The tree is not real. It is made out of cement and plastic.

There it was, on the sidewalk of the street. Big, beautiful, proud... and fake.

... bike ride along the Li River we stopped at a particularly pretty scenic spot.

After taking in all the beauty around us, we noticed this sign.

I had to snap a picture as evidence that we have been to Example Spot!

... was given a Monte Carno watch by business associate as a present.

Of course, the brand Monte Carno does not exist.

But there are Monte Carlo watches.

The man who gave the gift to my husband is not the kind that would want to be caught giving fake brand gifts.

He likes to brandish his wealth and make people who don't have as much feel small.

He doesn't speak English. He doesn't know how to spell.

So, he didn't notice the n that made the Carlo into Carno indisputably distinguishing the watch as a fake.

After walking around in Liugong Village under the hot sun all morning, we were all hungry and tired. So, we decided to eat our lunch there.

We didn't know what to expect. We didn't think it would be good. And we knew it will be different.

What ended up on our table was some pork and potatoes (hummm finger licking good), plain noodles, sautéed bamboo shoots with some sort of meat, and a bowl of leafy greens covered with fuzz.

Oh yes. It was good.

And I can now say I have eaten bamboo!

If you are going to spend your money to buy diamonds, you better go for a famous person diamond.

Otherwise, there is just no point.

And no, no, no... non famous person diamonds are not the same! They are only one step away from the degenerate cubic zirconium spark-lies.

I feel really sorry for those suckers who bought non famous person diamonds because they didn't know how to pick famous ones.

I feel even sorrier for their wives and fiancées. They probably think they have famous person diamonds when all they really have is fake famous person diamonds.

In fact, the only way to be sure that you will get famous person diamonds is by actually plucking one off a famous person.

In other words, if you don't see your diamonds come off Julia Robert's (or some such person) fingers, then beware.

They might be non famous person diamonds.

We have friends that live in Song-ping-li.

And we just met some cool parents that make their home at Song-hai-li.

Or is it that we live in Song-ping-li, Buchela's new friends are at Hai-bin-li, and our friends are at Song-hai-li?

Trust me, this can get overwhelming until you get used to it.

The ex-pats who have been living here for a long time throw out these names and I am like "huh?"

The lis and the hais and the songs make it all too confusing.

For a communist country, China is shockingly obsessed with making money and accumulating wealth. Advertising is absolutely everywhere and in all conceivable forms.

On planes, the back of the seats have ads. Marketing agents ride around on their bikes with a boom box on maximum volume, announcing new products. Grocery attendants yell at you with their over sized loudspeakers as you pass by and point to their assigned goodies. Sometimes, the back of the front seats in cabs have little TVs that play non stop commercials. There are big billboards everywhere.

But still, I was surprised to find our elevator, all of a sudden, outfitted with a TV set that spews loud commercials 12 hours a day.

I now take the stairs.