Big Brother Blues

These days, Buchela hangs on to me, wants to hold my hand all the time, puts his head on my shoulders when he sits with me to make sure he has a part of me just in case Dinbit tried to take all of me.

He gets in his sister bouncy chair and refuses to get out.

He tells me to hurry up and put Dinbit down so I can play with him.

He doesn't think it is fair that he has to wait his turn when I am busy with her but when she interrupts our story time by waking up and crying, I don't make her wait her turn.

He doesn't understand why he doesn't get the same attention when he fakes and tries to imitate his sister's cry.

He certainly doesn't know why she sits on my lap as much as she does.

And he definitely doesn't get why she gets to ride in the stroller while he is forced to walk.

But I get him.

I understand that it is all so confusing.

I am working hard to make the transition as easy as possible for him.

In the mean time, it breaks my heart that there is a possibility that he thinks, because I don't pay as much attention to him as I did when he was my only child, my love for him has somehow diminished.

I wish he understood how it grows and grows and grows everyday and will for always.